Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Twilight: The Smaller, More Twinkly Version

Read it:

Twilight in 15 Minutes


It's by cleolinda and she rocks.


Highlight:

[Edward drags her by the arm through the woods, like, what, you couldn't get a good enough grip on her hair or something? Damn. Then he zooms her up the mountain on a forcible piggyback ride and storms off into a single spotlight sunbeam in an epic snit over what a monster he is, he must SHOW HER the HORROR OF HIS BEING, a TERRIBLE SECRET accompanied by the SOFT FLUTTERING OF WINDCHIMES:]




EDWARD: I AM VAMPIRE. HEAR ME TWINKLE.

BELLA: Oh, wow, I spent like $60 at Sephora trying to get sparkle like that. What is that, Urban Decay?

EDWARD: NO!

BELLA: Oh, so it's a drugstore brand?

EDWARD: THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER, BELLA!

BELLA: FINE. WHATEVER. But the lipstick, that's gotta be Cargo, right?

EDWARD: *FLOUNCE*

1 comment:

Alan said...

Short Stories: More short stories continued (still off the cuff):

Sherlock Holmes.

Chesterton's Father Brown Stories.

Kipling's stories, such as Rikki-Tikki-Tavi (The Mongoose).

O'Henry, especially THE GIFT OF THE MAGI, and THE RANSOME OF RED CHIEF.

Poe..esp. Murders in the Rue Morgue.

alg